No such thing as a free safe

        My friend Lucy Furr, after going through a divorce, is selling (actually sold) her house and has moved to the land of spells and fairies. Before she left she asked me if I wanted her gun safe. It is the big massive safe that would be great to have to store important papers and such. I have wanted a safe for the house since moving in but for whatever reason it just never bubbled up to the top of the priority list. Anyhow Lucy calls me and says that the movers just picked up the safe and they are on the way to my house. In all my excitement I forgot to ask about what is the combination to the safe. So I press redial her phone number and ask “What is the combo...” and her response is “Well the combo is in my speed safe, let me call you back.”

        The movers show up to my house with the safe and we get the safe “safely” (haha) put in the garage when Lucy calls and says “I’m just finishing up with the police. I can’t seen to find my speed safe. I think it has been stolen.” Great. Now I have a big safe in my garage that is so safe that no one can get into it. Lucy show up at the house with some great news, she is sure she remembers the first and last numbers and is pretty sure that the second number is in the fifties. Well how hard could it be to try ten different combinations to find the correct one. Well some time later after trying both the fifties and the thirties and still no luck we figure that maybe she isn’t really sure of the first and last numbers. Well how hard can it really be to open an S&G lock without any idea what numbers to use. I get the bright idea that I’m going to grab a stethoscope and see if I can crack the safe. Let’s just say I’m not quitting my day job anytime soon for a life of safe cracking. While this is going on, Lucy calls the manufacture of the safe to see if they can give up the magic digits. The call goes something like this. “No, I didn’t register the safe”, “Yes there is a silver label on it.”, “No, its pretty messed up, I can’t read the serial number off of it.”, “Locksmith, yeah I can look them up. Thanks.”

        About this time it is getting late and Lucy needs to get on the road if she is going to make it back to spell and fairy land. So now I have this big safe, kind of like an adult grab bag, The plan now is when Lucy returns from spell/fairy land next time, she will be accompanied by a lock smith with a drill. At this point I wonder what I can get on a trade-in of a *hmm* slightly damaged safe. To be continued......